So... what was the suicide-inducing line? Do we want to know?

I don't know. You'll just have to read it and kill yourself, yourself.

(Is it obnoxious to post this? I don't know. Sometimes I get so sick of my own opinions that I'm pleased to find someone else is as well.)

But you are special! Special is good!

I've gotten similar comments from my advisors. Like, "This paper was so curiously, uniquely bad, I requested writing of yours that is not terrible from your other professors just so I wouldn't write you off altogether. There is a kind of genius here, under all the tortured neurosis and repetition."

Will you at least tell us when the offending line is published?

"Somewhere in this piece is your salvation, followed immediately by your doom."

"Morrison might be catching it on the jaw, but his tongue is still firmly planted in cheek," is a pretty great line. I'm not sure that the one after it makes me want to off myself, but still.